In the Closet of the Vatican: Power, Homosexuality, Hypocrisy by Frédéric Martel‏
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

50 Shades of Gay

How odd to call it such, but this book is most definitely charming. Its content is intended to be an exposé, yet its style is neither breathless nor incendiary. Rather, like much of French and Italian narrative journalism, it doesn’t seem to reveal secrets so much as remind us what we already vaguely know. It is therefore neither shocking nor titillating but fascinating and enjoyable. The line “50 shades of gay” is typical of its casual wit

Here’s the news: most (not some, not many, but most) senior clerics of the Catholic Church - cardinals, bishops and senior administrators - are homosexual. In fact “The Vatican has one of the biggest gay communities in the world.” In itself, this is not a problem. The problem arises when the dominant homosexual sociology of the Church is denied. The denial provokes a range of disfunction from personal neuroses, to internal blackmail, to hidden political factionalism, to a range of unacknowledged sexual abuses.

It is sex not doctrine or personal ambition that is the touch-paper for most of the explosive issues that the Vatican has been unsuccessful in addressing for decades. With that interpretive key in mind, the inability of the pope, an absolute monarch, to correct the errors he publicly recognizes and condemns, becomes understandable. He is not confronting tensions between liberal and conservatives but between various gay factions. To do what has to be done would require him to reveal the depth and breadth of hypocrisy within the Church. Coming out of the closet may be its only salvation. But in that case, as they used to say in the VietNam war, it may have to be destroyed in order to be saved.

To be clear: it is not lack of sex which is causing difficulties. The prevalence of homosexual activity is taken as normal by those who are “of the parish” as gay priests in Rome refer to themselves. Celibacy isn’t really an issue because it is mostly ignored. Sexual encounters from the most casual to the most long-term are available in abundance and on demand.

It is the hiddenness of those who are ‘out’ but only within the rather large closet of the Vatican that saps the vigour (as it were) of the entire organisation. That the priesthood is attractive to young gay men as a way to fit into an homophobic society, that they are promoted within the clerical hierarchy because of their sexual availability, that they in turn protect the gay community which has found a refuge (however secret) within the Church, are all plausible, if not obvious, assertions once stated. And interestingly, few of the large numbers of senior churchmen interviewed by Martel deny such assertions. These are open secrets.

But the consequences of admitting the truth of these assertions hangs over the gay priesthood like a sharp axe ready to cut them off not just from their livelihoods but also from their roles, their identities, in the world. And it is this looming axe that generates fear, and obstruction, and mutual harm. There is no way in which gay culture can be rooted out of the Church. That culture has probably always been a mainstay of its ritual, its liturgical splendour, and its gravitas. To excise it would be as great a disaster as to keep it hidden. Hence the pope’s problem: moderating undeclared internecine gay warfare.

I find Martel’s narrative to be highly explanatory. It makes sense of so many things - like the pope’s internal political impotence - which otherwise remain mysterious. Surprisingly, the book also generates sympathy for both the Church and its leaders. Pope Francis is clearly torn between feelings of fraternal care for individuals and fears for the institutional stability of the Church. Opting to reveal the truth of the situation may well be the most Christian act he could make but an act which many would regard as betrayal of his duty. As Martel says: “Francis is said to be ‘among the wolves’. It’s not quite true: he’s among the queens.” Good luck Francis.

A Portfolio of Leading Vatican Queens

Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke, opponent of Pope Francis, currently without portfolio; prefers feminine personal pronouns. Quite a look. One wonders for whom he dresses and who dresses him as well as who makes his dresses. The upward-glancing pious eyes are an inimitable touch all his own however. A master patron 0f the couturier’s art.



Cardinal Keith O’Brien, leader of the Scottish Catholic Church; campaigner against homosexuality, himself gay. Stunning in scarlet.



Cardinal Theodore McCarrick, Vatican diplomat to the US; homophobic homosexual paedophile. Simple elegance just never goes out of fashion



Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, head of the Pontifical Commission on the Family; frequent frequenter of homosexual prostitutes on several continents. It’s the tasteful choice of eye-catching gold accessories that makes a man stand out from the crowd.



Austrian Cardinal Hans Hermann Gröer, inveterate paedophile, with his pal the pope. Floral motifs are not for everyone but go for it if you can pull it off. It does help to be in sympathetic company.



Cardinal Francis Spellman of New York City in a simpler time; a voracious sexual predator with a particular penchant for chorus boys. Sometimes a more somber tone is just right for the occasion. Just goes to prove that if you hold onto it long enough, it’ll be back in style.



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