Noir by Robert Coover
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The Gumshoe Game

You knew it was a set-up as soon as you walked into the room. Dark. Real dark. No windows. A clammy feeling. Very few verbs to be heard from the cheap Muzak; at least none with more than too syllables.

You’re a dick. Some cop said to be here. He’s a dick too. Only part-time. So you’re a bigger dick than he is. We should compare sometime. Mano a mano. If you get my drift.

What’s that sound? Someone’s at the door. If he’s packing, you’re screwed. Left the .22 in the car. Being a real dick is dangerous. Too close to death. And he’s a tough customer

What the hell! Tripped on something. Fell hard. Might have broke a tooth. And you not paying the medical premiums. What a jerk.

Oh shit here he comes. And you lying on the floor like a squashed avocado.

Light, blinding light. You’re looking right at it. Burning your eyeballs. Don’t shoot. Don’t shoot. Whatever you want, you got it…

Disculpe, señor. Soy el conserje nocturno. Tengo que limpiar ahora. ¿Puedo preguntarte qué estás haciendo en el suelo del baño de señoras?

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