Cat's Cradle
by
by
Health Warning: Truths Kill Better Than Cigarettes
I have a theory that only adolescents and geriatrics can appreciate Vonnegut. The first because he confirms what they fear and despise about the adult world they’re about to enter; the latter because they equally have learned to fear and despise the world they’ve left behind. Those between the extremes literally cannot afford to take Vonnegut seriously. The cost of doing so would be severe depression or social (or bodily) suicide. But for those who engage in therapeutic despair, Vonnegut is strangely comforting, a Christ-like figure who takes on the world’s absurdity so that the rest of us don’t have to.
Like it or not we live as a matter of faith. St. Paul had it right after all about that. Except he had the object of faith wrong. It’s not Jesus, who had as little clue as the rest of us about what was going on. No, his faith and ours is in the God behind it all, the deus absconditus, the divine puller of strings who is executing a clever plan that he hasn’t let us in on. The only important doctrine of this faith is that anyone who thinks he knows the plan is a knucklehead. For a religion, this is about as simple as it gets.
So the only thing to do when you have faith is to keep on truckin’. ‘It is what it is,’ as they say. Head down, pencil scribbling, keyboard clacking, socket-wrench turning, as the case may be. Thinking about the end-result - a solid bolt, an airworthy plane, a hydrogen bomb, millions dead and dying - will drive you mad. Making a living is what it’s about. Getting ahead, getting a name in the business, being top dog. Even if you don’t make it, you tried your best, you kept the faith.
Best thing is to pull your head in like a turtle and lay low about things not relevant to getting ahead. That’s part of the faith really and saves immensely on headache medication. And so is science, part of the faith that is. Scientists are the most faithful, something like priests really, and they generally keep low, really low, except when something big happens like a new model Chevrolet or an atom bomb. Then they come out of their shells and bask, hoping someone will throw a prize or a promotion their way. Afterwards they pull their necks back in and disappear.
Scientists value life. That doesn’t mean they care too much about living people or other biological forms. They just find life mysterious and like to study it. Don’t get me wrong. Some scientists have wives and friends and children whom they might care about but the lives of hundreds or thousands or millions of people are just statistics. So if your wife dies in a road traffic accident it’s a tragedy, but if a whole city vanishes under a mushroom cloud that’s a sign of progress… scientifically speaking. Sometimes the truth hurts. It’s called being objective and is the most important virtue of the scientist. Essentially it means they aren’t allowed to cry at work.
So all you scientists out there, young and old, just keep on doing what you’re paid to do. Truth is too precious to lose. And new patents don’t register themselves, do they? Corporate teamwork is what it’s all about. Remember that corporate loyalty is how you show your faith most clearly. Nihilism is out. Without faith, where would we be? In the crapper, that’s where we’d be. And by the way, whatever you’ve heard about this stuff called ice-nine that can freeze all the water in the world, it’s a lie. And anyhow, it’s top secret.
Postscript: my daughter-in-law happened to post me this today. https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/h... Kurt, where are we when we need you most?
I have a theory that only adolescents and geriatrics can appreciate Vonnegut. The first because he confirms what they fear and despise about the adult world they’re about to enter; the latter because they equally have learned to fear and despise the world they’ve left behind. Those between the extremes literally cannot afford to take Vonnegut seriously. The cost of doing so would be severe depression or social (or bodily) suicide. But for those who engage in therapeutic despair, Vonnegut is strangely comforting, a Christ-like figure who takes on the world’s absurdity so that the rest of us don’t have to.
Like it or not we live as a matter of faith. St. Paul had it right after all about that. Except he had the object of faith wrong. It’s not Jesus, who had as little clue as the rest of us about what was going on. No, his faith and ours is in the God behind it all, the deus absconditus, the divine puller of strings who is executing a clever plan that he hasn’t let us in on. The only important doctrine of this faith is that anyone who thinks he knows the plan is a knucklehead. For a religion, this is about as simple as it gets.
So the only thing to do when you have faith is to keep on truckin’. ‘It is what it is,’ as they say. Head down, pencil scribbling, keyboard clacking, socket-wrench turning, as the case may be. Thinking about the end-result - a solid bolt, an airworthy plane, a hydrogen bomb, millions dead and dying - will drive you mad. Making a living is what it’s about. Getting ahead, getting a name in the business, being top dog. Even if you don’t make it, you tried your best, you kept the faith.
Best thing is to pull your head in like a turtle and lay low about things not relevant to getting ahead. That’s part of the faith really and saves immensely on headache medication. And so is science, part of the faith that is. Scientists are the most faithful, something like priests really, and they generally keep low, really low, except when something big happens like a new model Chevrolet or an atom bomb. Then they come out of their shells and bask, hoping someone will throw a prize or a promotion their way. Afterwards they pull their necks back in and disappear.
Scientists value life. That doesn’t mean they care too much about living people or other biological forms. They just find life mysterious and like to study it. Don’t get me wrong. Some scientists have wives and friends and children whom they might care about but the lives of hundreds or thousands or millions of people are just statistics. So if your wife dies in a road traffic accident it’s a tragedy, but if a whole city vanishes under a mushroom cloud that’s a sign of progress… scientifically speaking. Sometimes the truth hurts. It’s called being objective and is the most important virtue of the scientist. Essentially it means they aren’t allowed to cry at work.
So all you scientists out there, young and old, just keep on doing what you’re paid to do. Truth is too precious to lose. And new patents don’t register themselves, do they? Corporate teamwork is what it’s all about. Remember that corporate loyalty is how you show your faith most clearly. Nihilism is out. Without faith, where would we be? In the crapper, that’s where we’d be. And by the way, whatever you’ve heard about this stuff called ice-nine that can freeze all the water in the world, it’s a lie. And anyhow, it’s top secret.
Postscript: my daughter-in-law happened to post me this today. https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/h... Kurt, where are we when we need you most?
posted by The Mind of BlackOxford @ November 10, 2021
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